Since I cannot identify the protagonist yet in the story "3,000 Miles", I am going to write about a character named Andre from this story. Andre is a French Canadian who grew up in La Forest, near Quebec City. La Forest is an odd community in itself. Surrounded by "a bunch of trees", La Forest was home to the families who worked for the local mill (pg.1). The mill gave off "a lot of chemicals...and some old-timers started getting cancer...but none of it mattered. This was [their] home"(pg.3). Therefore, the people of the La Forest community were relatively close, except for Andre's family.
Andre lived in a "small, wooden house" with a "rusty Chevy Malibu in the front yard and a collection of old snow-mobiles littering in the back" accompanied by his negligent parents and stoner older brother Michel, who was about 4 years older (pg.5). Michel's best friend is Mario, who let Andre and his friends come over anytime to drink, blaze, and play/listen to metal and Satanic music, which Andre did quite often because there was nothing much else to do. Having senile parents, Mario makes his own crystal meth and sells it. When Andre needs money for something, Mario will give Andre meth to sell, leaving Andre with approximately a third of the profit. However, Andre does not do meth and "[he] stood by [his] decision not to get high" because he thought "it [was] bad enough selling [it] to survive" and "[he didn't] need the extra grief of doing it [himself] (pg.19). In addition to his family and friends, Andre has a girlfriend named Sylvie: "The two of [them] have everything in common, but most of the time [he] treats her like sh*t. She sticks by everything [his does], though, not like other girls [he] met (pg.22). I can tell Andre really cares and respects her because he said, "whenever [Richard, Serge, and I] talk about sex,...sometimes [Serge] turns away in disgust...when my stories get too graphic...I've never done any of that sh*t to Sylvie...she doesn't deserve to be degraded that way. She's a saint"(pg.22). Although, sadly, Andre is coming to a point in his life where he does not know what to do and where to go.
Personality wise, Andre is quite a confident individual, but yet perplexed about his future. After Kurt Cobain (the lead singer of the band Nirvana) committed suicide, Andre felt as if his life was going nowhere. Although, he never really thought about his future until then. Other than looking just like Kurt Cobain with the long, greasy blonde hair, leather jacket, and Kodiak boots, Andre thought of him as much more than a role model or a hero: " Kurt's life was worth... something [he couldn't] put into words, something beyond being a product or a lifestyle that was sold to [him]"(pg.20). Unfortunately, the "only way [Andre]" thought of expressing his feelings was [death] (pg.20).
Entering his twenties, Andre feels like it is time for him and his friends, Richard and Serge, to go on a journey. Auspiciously, Richard and Serge liked Andre's "idea of going on a trip...because all [they] ever talked about [was] going someplace where [they could] at least imagine [themselves] having fun" (pg.21). Using Andre's meth dealing money, they plan to go across Canada then make their last stop in Seattle, Kurt Cobain's hometown. However, Andre is not going on this trip to search "for some kind of answer. [He knew] the answer" but needed to "figure out a way to express it" (pg.22). He has a feeling that he may decide not to return from this journey. In addition, he states, "If I won't be remembered for how I lived, I might as well be remembered for how I died" (pg.19). This quote proclaims that humans have a natural desire to be remembered in some way. In other words, Andre may feel worthless and forgotten by society if he were to just slowly fade away.
Coming from a small town in Quebec, Andre is someone who wants to feel accepted and supported in life, yet wants to go his own way. Plus, it doesn't help that his parents neglect him and his older brother could care less. Also, the person he looks up to the most, Kurt Cobain, has just died and so has Andre's perception of life. Thus his plan of going on a journey to prove something of himself becomes a reality. All he is asking for from his peers is some recognition and admiration.
About Me
- vanessa C
- Live without pretending, Love without depending, Listen without defending, Speak without offending.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Grandma, I Love You
Grandma, I love you
like the ocean loves the sky
the time we spend must never die
my heart so full with your comfort
nothing can come between to hurt
Grandma, I love you
Grandma, I need you
like a fish needs gills
You are so far, and it kills
to just be with you once again,
all around me, within soft rain
Grandma, I need you
Grandma, I love you,
no matter where the stars will start
your spirit always shines in my heart
Grandma, I love you
like the ocean loves the sky
the time we spend must never die
my heart so full with your comfort
nothing can come between to hurt
Grandma, I love you
Grandma, I need you
like a fish needs gills
You are so far, and it kills
to just be with you once again,
all around me, within soft rain
Grandma, I need you
Grandma, I love you,
no matter where the stars will start
your spirit always shines in my heart
Grandma, I love you
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
How Me and Anesthetic Met
Sometimes in life, the greatest challenges we face are with ourselves. This statement is very true in my life. For example, I remember when I was about ten years old getting my first filling at the dentist. I have always had a fear of the dentist but this time was the worst.
It was the night before my filling and all I could think about was the excruciating pain and loud drilling. I could hardly sleep, my stomache felt as if it was doing backflips. All I wanted was a miracle, something that would happen so I didn't have to go to the dentist in the morning.
I woke up the next morning surprised that I even fell asleep. My thoughts of last night still didn't change, except in less than thirty minutes I was going to be in the dentist chair.
Holding my moms hand tightly, I opened the door to the dentist office. The sour aroma of the flouride and metal filled the empty waiting room. At this point I thought," This is it, there is nothing I can do. I have to go in there. No turning back now." But no matter how much I would try to calm myself down, the more I thought of the pain and discomfort. My palms began to sweat. My feet were shaking with anxiety. Thoughts of the numbing needle made my brain explode.
Suddenly, I heard someone say," Vanessa Clarke? Follow me!" My stomache dropped quickly to the floor. When I stood up, I could hardly feel my legs. Staring back at my mom, while the nurse brought me into the other room, I felt like I would never see her again and I wanted her to be by my side the whole time.
The chair went back all the way so I could just see the ceiling and a T.V. I remember hearing Dr. Chan (my dentist) say," Get the anesthetic ready for Vanessa." in a very monotone voice. Sweat was now dripping from my forehead. I kept clenching my wet fists together. Then the dentist came over, the needle was shinning in the sunlight," Lean back Vanessa, you will just feel a slight tickle. Watch the T.V." As if that was really going to keep my mind off of her putting a needle in my mouth. I felt as if I had no control over the situation at all. The nurse, who was assisting the dentist, grabbed hold of my hands and smiled down at me. At that moment, a sense of safety filled my entire body. I sqeezed her hand as hard as I could. Then all of a sudden Dr. Chan looked at me and said," Great job Vanessa the needle is out. In fifteen minutes we will start the filling."
My mind was blown. That couldn't have been the needle because I didn't even feel it, I thought to myself. A giant wave of relief left me feeling warm and proud that it was done and I did not even cry. However, the filling was next and I still had a lump in my stomache.
After my mouth was competely numb, the dentist came back and turned on the drill. My content and dignified thoughts quickly flew out the window. She tilted my head back even more, I could hear the drilling and smell the metal from it but I could not feel anything what so ever. Fortunately, after about ten minutes of the loud drilling sound and vexation, the procedure was complete and I could go home.The whole drive home I kept thinking about how I lost sleep over that. Also about how harmless dentists really are.
Since that appointment, I haven't been as agitated about going to the dentist. And I actually like the anesthetic because then you know you will not feel any extreme pain, maybe just a tickle. Now that I look back on this story, I was the one who made myself nervous prior to the appointment. My connotation and what I had heard about getting fillings really made me stressed, until I literally had the experience for myself. From this event, I learned we (ourselves) are the biggest contributers in challenging situations in life.
It was the night before my filling and all I could think about was the excruciating pain and loud drilling. I could hardly sleep, my stomache felt as if it was doing backflips. All I wanted was a miracle, something that would happen so I didn't have to go to the dentist in the morning.
I woke up the next morning surprised that I even fell asleep. My thoughts of last night still didn't change, except in less than thirty minutes I was going to be in the dentist chair.
Holding my moms hand tightly, I opened the door to the dentist office. The sour aroma of the flouride and metal filled the empty waiting room. At this point I thought," This is it, there is nothing I can do. I have to go in there. No turning back now." But no matter how much I would try to calm myself down, the more I thought of the pain and discomfort. My palms began to sweat. My feet were shaking with anxiety. Thoughts of the numbing needle made my brain explode.
Suddenly, I heard someone say," Vanessa Clarke? Follow me!" My stomache dropped quickly to the floor. When I stood up, I could hardly feel my legs. Staring back at my mom, while the nurse brought me into the other room, I felt like I would never see her again and I wanted her to be by my side the whole time.
The chair went back all the way so I could just see the ceiling and a T.V. I remember hearing Dr. Chan (my dentist) say," Get the anesthetic ready for Vanessa." in a very monotone voice. Sweat was now dripping from my forehead. I kept clenching my wet fists together. Then the dentist came over, the needle was shinning in the sunlight," Lean back Vanessa, you will just feel a slight tickle. Watch the T.V." As if that was really going to keep my mind off of her putting a needle in my mouth. I felt as if I had no control over the situation at all. The nurse, who was assisting the dentist, grabbed hold of my hands and smiled down at me. At that moment, a sense of safety filled my entire body. I sqeezed her hand as hard as I could. Then all of a sudden Dr. Chan looked at me and said," Great job Vanessa the needle is out. In fifteen minutes we will start the filling."
My mind was blown. That couldn't have been the needle because I didn't even feel it, I thought to myself. A giant wave of relief left me feeling warm and proud that it was done and I did not even cry. However, the filling was next and I still had a lump in my stomache.
After my mouth was competely numb, the dentist came back and turned on the drill. My content and dignified thoughts quickly flew out the window. She tilted my head back even more, I could hear the drilling and smell the metal from it but I could not feel anything what so ever. Fortunately, after about ten minutes of the loud drilling sound and vexation, the procedure was complete and I could go home.The whole drive home I kept thinking about how I lost sleep over that. Also about how harmless dentists really are.
Since that appointment, I haven't been as agitated about going to the dentist. And I actually like the anesthetic because then you know you will not feel any extreme pain, maybe just a tickle. Now that I look back on this story, I was the one who made myself nervous prior to the appointment. My connotation and what I had heard about getting fillings really made me stressed, until I literally had the experience for myself. From this event, I learned we (ourselves) are the biggest contributers in challenging situations in life.
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